Chronic FUNtigue

thefrogman:

floopyflightsofnamzy says…

I just wanted to send you some love as you wave your wand of infinite internet lols. Your content is magical and during this festive season you shall reside in a blue land of swirly skies waving ittybitty particles of HAHA into the interwebz to make us lol. thank you for the lols. we love you v much <3 

I love the rainbow bandage on my ankle. At the risk of whining again, my ankle really really hurts. Pain pills don’t seem to phase it much and each step I take is like shoving nails in my ankle. I have never sprained anything this bad. I honestly can’t believe I didn’t snap a bone. My foot was completely sideways with all 342 pounds of Frogman bearing down on it. I did lose 4 pounds from my diet. Wouldn’t it be weird if those 4 pounds were the difference between a break and a sprain?

Anyway, I love my get well art. Thank you very much. 

thefrogman:

I hope you can all forgive me, but I’m about to break two of my rules. 

1. Always respond with a civil tongue. 
2. Never respond to messages that bother me.

My ankle hurts like a sumbitch and this shit is just unacceptable. Of course I’m whiny. This sucks balls and if you think it’s all kittens and rainbows I would be happy to twist the living fuck out of your ankle so you can show us how manly you are. 

Fuck you right in the butt with a jagged rusty oversized corkscrew. I’m going to insert it and twist it nice and slow. I’m going to shred your bowels so you have to poop in a bag. Then I’m going to make you watch Jersey Shore on a loop Clockwork Orange style. I hope you get herpes you fucking fart nugget scrotum faced douchebag pencil dicked monkey butler.

thefrogman:

Do you believe in luck? I’m not sure I do, but if there is such a thing, I’m not sure I have any of it. Going to the doctor’s office is an energy event for me. It uses about 2 days worth of energy each time. I needed an EKG for my gastric bypass approval and I needed to have my leg holes checked out by the surgeon.

I had a brilliant master plan. I thought I could have them both done on the same day in the same building so I could turn two energy events into one. I scheduled the EKG for 10:30 and the wound check for 10:45. I know I was cutting it close, but those were the only two times available and the offices were only a minute apart. 

I get to the EKG place and of course they want me to fill out 20 minutes of paperwork for a 5 minute test. I was going to be a little late to the wound check, but I figured they always make me wait 15 minutes to get in, so it shouldn’t be a big deal. The nurse puts the sticky things on my chest and does the test. It was over before I knew it and I was ready to head downstairs to my next appointment.

Then I stepped off the exam table.

My ankle buckled under my weight and twisted inwards.

I fell against the wall and landed on the floor in horrible pain. My ankle felt like it was on fire and I tried not to cry in front of the nurse.

I was unsuccessful.

Then a myriad of folks in blue scrubs rushed in to see why a woman was screaming. To their surprise they found a large bearded man. 

After the pain calmed I tested out my ankle. I could move it to and fro and side to side. No break. Thank the baby Jesus. The office manager seemed relieved because sprained ankles do not normally lead to litigation. They did have to fill out an incident report which took another 20 minutes. The ankle hurts VERY much when I try to walk on it and it has a lovely burning sensation, so they found me an ice pack and a wheelchair. The nurse rolled me down to the surgeon’s office.

He was… in surgery.

My brilliant plan crumbled into pieces and I have to go back on Monday. 

So I’m laying here with a frosty foot, waiting for the painkillers to kick in, and contemplating the existence of luck.

How’s your day been?

healthyfrog:

Ham Sammich

First day off antibiotics. Starting slow to see if my stomach is back to normal.

healthyfrog:

Lasagna

Stomach doing a little better. Took it out for a spin with some lasagna. No snacks today. Appetite still a bit lacking. 

healthyfrog:

Lunch: Baked Chicken and carrots.

Snack: Jello

Dinner: Lean Pockets Turkey & Broccoli. 

Snack: Grapes

healthyfrog:

Steak Tips with Broccoli

Check out all the vegetables I’m eating!